Well you chaps are going to think I am   crazy. But nonetheless, I have no one else to talk to about this situation. My community would think me in need of serious help if they knew I was partaking in mongering activity.

By way of background, I am in my fifties but quite fit, very active physically. I watch my weight and could still lose a few kgs but generally pretty trim. I have a good albeit stressful job but I can afford splurging. I appreciate the hard times many are going through and am grateful for my lot in life. I should also mention that culturally I really enjoy Thai or Indonesian girls. But the problem with these WGs is they only stick around for a few months. So I've been trying to find someone who might stay for a while. (I know others prefer protection of WGs who can't stay long.)

Recently, I connected with an independent escort. We met in a decent hotel (my selection) where we could sit, relax and I had brought some   drinks to take the edge off. The first time we met we seemed to hit if off quite well. She was very chatty, fascinating life and history (assuming it’s true). We got into some quite deep conversations and we suddenly realised our time was up. She was able to extend the time, but I had a work meeting to return to. We agreed to connect another time. I paid, she left and then I left.

So, now you’re thinking I must be crazy: you hired and paid an escort and didn’t get any action other than a kiss? Yes, in fact same girl more than once. We’ve met several times and she joked I’m her sugar daddy. (In fact I wouldn't mind that.)

We’ve talked about why nothing is happening and that eventually something would. To a degree she has shared her sexual preferences, desires, what she likes/dislikes and so on. However, she often deflects the conversation away from sex. Meanwhile she’s happy talking, drinking and laughing. Pretty good conversational GFE experience but we’re slipping further and further into the friendzone.

But a few weeks ago an illuminating review (different web site) was posted about this escort, and then another (also different web site) and I thought, “Whoa.”    In these reviews, she’s much more of a sexual aggressor than she’s divulged to me.  This harkens me back to my opening comments that maybe she’s just not into me physically. I’m coming to the conclusion that if given the opportunity to avoid being physical with someone she’s not attracted to, seems she’d take it. (Wouldn't we all?) We’ve kissed but thinking back on those moments, she didn’t seem that into it, which is completely inconsistent with everything else I’ve read about her reviews.

I guess my question is, have you encountered working girls/escorts who are really not physically into you (or lack of chemistry) and as a result they resisted you? How did you handle it? I’m sure y’all think I’m nuts and will say “you handle it by moving on to the next girl where there IS chemistry.” But somehow this situation seemed it might be different. Welcome your views.

I'm in contact and, I guess, friends with a few. Helped one in particular her back to indonesia and supported her emotionally when her grandma died recently.  But when we meet it's definitely sexual. I'm younger but not as good a specimen as you based on your description. Just clearer in my own mind what I look for from relationships, paid or otherwise.

Ive also met a PTGF who, while we've never actually met F2F is becoming my online submissive. I've never gifted her at all. She's very obedient but the conversation does swing between menial daily affairs and her experimenting with her sexuality (along with video and photos for her master).

Sounds like you need to have 'the talk' with her and come to peace in your own mind with what you want from the relationship.

[ Last edited by  HelloLadies at 6-12-2020 12:51 ]

Interesting. I think you treated her with respect and kindness and she enjoys that. She may think you prefer things this way because you pay for her but don't make any moves on her.

You don't know what the other guys' encounters were actually like, or how socially retarded they are (likely quite a bit in fact) such they they experienced or perceived their meetings with her very differently.

Anyway, maybe you should make a move on her like you would with a girl you're interested in.  Focus on her pleasure.  I guess she will really enjoy it and you'll get the best experience with her of anyone.

Really I think she just doesn't know what to do with you because you're nice and respectful and haven't made a move.  The others are likely mivh more clearly just looking to.bang.

You should be able to have a nice time with her AND have sex also.  I mean you are paying for it and also want it.. I dont think the girl will make the move since its possible she thinks you dont want sex? I dont know how much time you usually book, but I suggest to do all the chatty/flirty thing first, and save enough time for the punt at the end.  You can always break the ice by saying something like " you want to go shower?" If she does or not join, that should be enough signal to her that its sexy time   

An alternative is to ask her to shower first.. that way you guys can lay in bed naked together while chatting, and you get more of a chance to be playful and handsy.  Treat it as foreplay before the deed.  And if you guys are connecting well, she probably wouldnt mind if it goes over the allotted time

She's taking advantage of your generosity and kindness.
Yes, there are setups where the young girl trades only sparkling conversation and no sexual favors for large sums of money from older men. It's a Japanese thing called "kyabakura" (totally butchered pronunciation of "cabaret club", and it's not at all a cabaret club since the girls don't and probably can't dance). Japanese guys need it badly because their social lives are the very definition of crippling loneliness, especially if they're married.

In the rest of the world, we guys should expect more from a girl if he's paying her a week's worth of her normal salary just for a few hours of her time.
Sure, conversation is lovely, and sex without conversation is mechanical and soulless, but conversation without sex is being taken for a chump.

Next time you see this girl. Just make your intentions clear. If she backs off, you've just saved yourself some money. If she goes for it, then you get to bang a girl half your age, and what man doesn't want that (unless you're under the age of 36).

Good points... there might be an element of taking advantage but I think there’s also her not knowing what to do with me.

Good points... there might be an element of taking advantage but I think there’s also her not knowing what to do with me.

I also think she's taking advantage of you.
You mentioned she deflects when the conversation broaches sex, but as a WG, she surely knows the end game of the encounters.

Even with sugar babies, the ones that actually know the game, understand that physical sex is part of the relationship.

I once had a sugar relationship who fit in my budget, which is damn hard in my area.
Sex was great and conversation was also entertaining.
However, the sex never got to a comfortable GFE level, so after a few months, I brought it up and ended up breaking it off.

Ultimately, the choice is yours.
If you do want to move to the physical level, then as suggested, bring it up and be prepared to either retire to the room or thank her for her time and move on to the next lady.
If you enjoy it as it currently is, try seeing if she'll meet with you without any transaction involved.
Treat her to a meal, but nothing fancy.  Just a 'friend' level dinner.

As for your questions.
I've had encounters that were nowhere near the level of what I had read about and in these cases, I just simply never schedule a repeat visit.
I've never had a WG 'resist' me, if you mean not having sex.

I think if you are having a good time with just her company then keep booking her.

But don't forget you're a paying client and she's a sex worker.

Most WG who has been in the industry long enough know how to read/play their clients. (imo) She knows exactly what shes doing and is probably milking you alittle.

It sounds like she does generally enjoy being around you but you can't ignore the fact that it's partially motivated because you're an easier client (as in she doesn't have to provide sexual services).

Another way of looking at it is, if she was providing great sex AND then spending time off the clock getting to know you, then you could maybe argue that you're more than just a client/provider relationship.

You can't force chemistry/attraction and in this case you are paying for services/good time. Enjoy what she offers, be it intimacy/etc but dont lose sight that you are just a client.

I wouldn't say she's taking advantage of you and your kindness. I mean... yes, she's a sex worker but she's also a person and maybe she got confused and thought you prefer something warm and "friendlier". She may feel comfortable with you or just had a bad day and didn't know how to hide it. I don't know... there are lots of possible reasons but the only way to solve this kind of situations is with good communication. That's something people usually forget when they're paying for sex. But trust me, if you want good sex, you need to know how to communicate with your partner/partners.
About the other reviewers, I wouldn't focus on them honestly. You don't know what they asked for or their standards. Reviews are essential to avoid bad experiences but they're just that: reviews- subjective opinions.

Well I’ve hesitated to write this message for a long long time, but just feel I need to talk. I’m embarrassed, actually. It’s official, said escort and I have definitely landed in the friendzone.

Yes, I had “the talk” with her. Yes, it was serious but also part flirtatious in an odd way. She insisted “the man always makes the first move.” To which I responded:

“What if my fantasy was for YOU to make the first move?” This was met with awkward silence... and no moves.

Despite having only made out and me going down on her twice (for some strange reason she made no advances on me) we dwelled in this awkward silence for a long time. We’d meanwhile had many amazing conversations in person, in text, that always kept me on the end of a teased out string. (Maybe this is what I was seeking?)

I developed an affinity for her. A fondness, let’s say. But like a girl dragging things out with a guy my patience was wearing thin.

So I mentally prepared to blow her off and just ignore her, or not meet anymore. “End” the transactions. Black and white, this is just business.

Right around the time I mentally made this decision, and there’d been silence for a few days, she got sick. Really sick. At the beginning of her illness she reached out to me. At first I thought, “Yeah, right.” But then she sent me copies of her doctor’s notes, asking me to help her understand what was happening to her. Holy crap, she really WAS sick. “Connection,” I thought. Compassion took over.

In a nutshell, medium term illness, she’ll recover in a few months. In the interim I gave some financial support (she otherwise used the HK public system). She also made a commitment to “repay” me when things got better for her in the coming months. (Of course none of this I ever expect to happen.) Somewhat conflicted I interpreted this to mean there was an unreconciled sexual block between us that she sees and maybe is my own blind spot that I can’t see. As a result, support won’t be repaid with favours. That’s a blow to my ego I have to contend with. But it’s also her body, her choice.

In a nutshell, she’s had a nasty few months, or year, like many. Lost her job due to COVID and turned to escorting as a result. Fortunately I’m not in that boat and have stayed stable during COVID. When this whole thing happened, I wondered what message the universe was sending me... help your fellow sister? That’s when I chose to help her knowing full well I’d likely never see the money again. But at least I’d experience a sense of purpose out of it all.

Not sure any of this makes sense. (Had a few drinks tonight that prompted me to write!) Thinking if I can’t get an escort to have sex with me, I probably need to get sex therapy to sort myself out. Pathetic, I know, but I can see a theme emerging. Sigh... is meaningful sex out of the question with an escort? Not sure that’s the right question. If not, what is the right question?

Stop thinking so much and just put it in mate.

It's as simple as that.

Human nature wanting to care for someone and to be cared for.
Just slip it in, enjoy the ride and don’t think too much about it.

Anyway, today was my first time with an escort, and my first time having sex since 6 months ago, I broke up with my gf and a thing led to another and there I was today waiting for this girl to show up and go at it. She is one of the most amazing people ever! Awesome body and totally awesome personality. We chatted for a while and we have a shit ton in common and we became instant friends and I was nervous before we started and as soon as we chatted everything went away and it was like I was with a long time friend. We talked about memes and music and found we have very similar taste. We ended our thing and on he way out she tells me "I really liked you, I hope we can see each other sometime but like a regular outing, not like this" and so I think I was friendzoned lol. We are exchanging memes right now, actually.

AMA I guess.

P.S. I just created this account for the sake of telling someone the experience since I'm not sure I can tell any close friends out of fear of being judged lol.

EDIT: I might take a little to answer, I'm watching anime at the moment.

Hi shyrocket,

My advice would be to stop second guessing why she's behaving the way she does, like whether or not she sees an "unreconciled sexual block between you". It's really not very relevant (it would be, of course, if she was a regular girl you're trying to get into a relationship with).

What's relevant is whether you're getting out of this what you signed up for. It's pretty clear from your posts that you are not. Just like it's "her body, her choice", it's also "your money, your choice". If for whatever reason you're not getting what you want out of this, simply look elsewhere.

Of course, it may well be the case that despite the lack of sexual services, she managed to sink your boat, and you developed feelings for her. But in this case, keeping having paid encounters where she gets what she wants (money and compassion), while you leave unsatisfied, can't lead to any place good.

So, unless you knowingly decide that supporting her financially and emotionally without a physical "payback" is what *you* want, force yourself to take a break from her and look for another provider, who's be willing to at least pretend (convincingly) that she enjoys having sex with you.

It also seems that rather than seeing escorts you might enjoy more some other "compensated dating" format, through SA or Skout, for example.

I don't think what you are looking for can be found from an escort and typicaly sexual services from an WG never come with that type of meaning/chemistry.  

To be honest, i think you need to move on from pursuing this gal and either try dating a civy or look into the SA/sugarbaby type of relationship.


That last statement isn't a fair statement to make to yourself and to her - "..if I can’t get an escort to have sex with me..."

Escorts, in their private life, don't just have sex with anyone - they're humans too and their own complex wants/needs/preferences.

Her soft rejection of you isn't a reflection of you, its a reflection of her. Don't take it personally and assume you're the one with problems.

Dude, it's a little weird, but we all need communication.

I hope u are fine) We all should be

[ Last edited by  Cyaerislea at 17-7-2021 18:09 ]

Hmm, dude, this is a strange story, but I understand you. At some periods of my life, I feel terrible, I close myself at home and do not communicate with anyone, I often overeat because I feel problems with my mental health. I hate people as much as I love them. And I really need communication, but it's hard for me to start this communication myself. I am not in demand among women. I went to some website, I think it was https://www.escorts2.com/female-escorts and I met a girl from there. We talked for several hours, I felt really alive. It happened a few more times, I felt that I fell in love. It sounds so stupid... I told her about my feelings, but she said that she just wanted my money and I'm disgusting to her. I became even more depressed. I never saw her again. I hope you will find your happiness and do not worry about that girl, everything will still get better.

[ Last edited by  Cyaerislea at 17-7-2021 18:09 ]

You have nothing to be embarrassed about.  It is actually fairly common for this sort of thing where some guys just want to spend some time with someone and enjoy the company.
The key difference (as several have said), is if you want more out of it then you need to be the one to re-establish that boundary/situation.  If you really have a good 'relaitonship/connection' with her, then you should be able to simply tell her that you would like to start having more during your sessions.  If she disagrees, then you have your answer.  If she agrees and the experience is more of a dead fish, then you also have your answer.

The only disservice would be to cheat yourself out of what you want.  Someone out there can give both the good conversation and the good sex, just do not be afraid to look.