Just a  few jokes to lighten up the weekend   !
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A recent article in the Philadelphia Inquirer reported that a woman, Maynard,
has sued a Philadelphia Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery
there he lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied "Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery.
All we did was correct his eyesight".

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"Now then" said the warden addressing the three instigators of a failed
prison riot "I would like to know two things:
First: why did you revolt? Second: how did you get out of our cell?"
One of the three men stepped forward "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful".
"I see. And the cell, what did you use to break the bars?" "Toast" replied the spokesman.

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Little Bobby walks into the kitchen where his mum is fixing dinner.
"Mum, I got a splinter in my finger. Can I have a glass of cider?"
"Are you sure you don't want me to pull it out?"
"No thanks, just the cider".
So she gives him the cider and watches him trot contentedly off.
Ten minutes later Bobby returns once again and asks for a glass of cider.
The mother complies with her son's wishes again, but her curiosity has
been piqued to the point where she can't resist knowing why any longer.
So she wanders into the family room and sees Little Bobby sitting in front
of the TV with his finger in the glass.
"Why on earth do you have your finger in that glass" she asks?
"Well, mum, I heard sis on the phone say that whenever she has a prick in her hand,
she can't wait to get it in cider".

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