My absolute weirdest (and potentially disastrous) Hong Kong punting moment….

I was partying in Wan Chai with a whole gang of WGs (mostly Filipina’s).   The nite got late.  There was me,  3 girls, and some Spanish dude.  All of us were having a blast.  The girls suggested we head back to their pad.  Hmmm, this was different – usually you can never go back to their place, but in this case one of the gals was a permanent resident and lived nearby.  Off we go – stopping at the 7/11 for supplies and enough booze to keep the party flowing far into the next day.

We get in and discover the gal’s roommate (who had stayed behind) screaming her lungs out and lying ON THE TINY LEDGE OUTSIDE THE WINDOW!  16 floors up!  The girls start screaming - She was going to commit suicide.  Me and Spanish guy rush over and pull her back in – but she is frantic – fists and legs swinging every direction.  I wrestled her to the floor as gently as possible and finally she starts calming down.  I didn’t feel it at the time, but the next day I realize she clipped me pretty damn good across my nose.

Why I didn’t leave after that sobering moment I don’t know…, but stay I do.  

After twenty or so minutes someone else comes in for the girl and off they go arm and arm.  The new girl is consoling her in tagalog about something as they drift down the hallway.  Anyway, it’s calm and quiet now and back to just me, the 3 gals, and the Spanish Dude.  The party starts!!  We crack open some booze, they light a joint, and Lead girl announces the “house rules”…, No clothes!  Hehehe...  Everybody strips.  Trust me that it didn’t take long from the onset-of-nakedness to the abrupt-onset-of-rabid-fornication!   (this is the first time I ever screwed a chick while another Bro was in the same room.  I think…).  

Before the party ended I screwed all three of them.  Even Spanish Dude’s chick after he passed out for a while.   I was REALLY horny that nite!  

Anyway, after round one of sex we’re all just kicking back, lying on the beds and sofas drinking and chatting when a very loud and urgent series of knocks bang on the door.  “The police, open immediately!!”.

Ahh shit!!  We’re all naked, pot was just smoked, I’m in a room with 3 hookers…, DAMN!  They’ve come because neighbors complained about the screaming from Suicide Girl.  Christ.., it took them long enough!  They interview everyone, a female cop asks for my ID card (greeeeaaaattt!) (I am still naked by the way, with just a sheet around me).  I keep my mouth shut and cooperate completely.  Do I know the girl?  No.  Did I pull her from the window?  Yes.  What’s is your nationality?  Uh oh….

Then, as quickly as they were upon us  they finish up and leave.  Huh…?  Just like that?  No search?  The smell of pot didn’t trigger a search demand?  No issue of 3 hookers in a room?  Who are these girls?  And why is that Spanish Dude sleeping?  WTF?  Anyway, they left.

Why I didn’t leave after that sobering moment I don’t know…, but stay I do.   (recognize a pattern here?)

We sit back and start drinking again… the quiet laughs slowly become loud horse-laughs as we realize we just had our head’s inside the shark’s mouth and gotta away with it!!  Bloody lucky!  This calls for…… MORE SEX!!  I start screwing one girl, while a second is playing with my balls (thank you, Lord!).  We finish and snuggle together quietly chatting, when suddenly loud urgent bangs erupt on the door!!  FUUUUCCCCKKK!!  Are you KIDDING ME!!  A man’s voice is calling out “Grace!  Grace!!  I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE!!”  I am wondering who the hell “Grace" is?  Turns out the gal I knew (and recently screwed) as “Miles” is actually called “Grace” and her pissed-off boyfriend is banging on the door!  Wonderful……

The yells continue – this time back and forth between Angry-Boyfriend and Grace.  Jesus Christ!  Are the cops coming back shortly?

Finally, after this sobering moment I had the intelligence to leave.  

I get dressed, Spanish Dude recognizes the moment as THE moment to exit as well (two of us versus one angry boyfriend).  The yelling has stalled for a while now.., I grasp the door and open it quickly – half expecting a wolverine to pounce on me.  Spanish Dude leaps out aswell.  Angry Boyfriend is moping slightly down the hall and turns to us startled.  I close the door behind me (Hey.., not my business to let him in and at the girls in his state).  Spanish dude and I head down the stairs without a word.

We paid each girl $800HK each for that experience.

And I lived to tell the tale:  I escaped a nite (or more) in prison and possible deportation, helped save a suicidal girl’s life, screwed 3 chicks in a strange orgy of sorts, and finally coasted past a frenzied boyfriend on the way out.  Shit…...  That’s a few of my nine-lives used up!!

You really have balls of steel! After the attempted suicide, you guys can still party on like that! Balls of Steel!
After the police came knocking. Still party on! Balls of Steel again!
Not going for 3 times a charm....Drop one of the Ball of Steel! hahahahaha

On my way home in the taxi I reviewed the evening in my mind and went "holy shit!!  What the fuck am I doing??". Crazy...

Was the female cop cute? Why didn't you ask for her digit? =P

Wander, I name thee Batman - start wearing your undies on the outside as a mark of your new title!!  That was just brilliant.
In these moments the brain does seem to freeze and we just do stuff on autopilot - in your case fuck three girls on auto pilot, then go back for round 2, you should get a cape as well to complete the set!
Cops, pot, attempted suicide, angry boyfriend and three hookers - submit this script for Hangover III, it's a winner.
Of course the icing on the cake would have been to suggest to the boyfriend that he might want to get Grace to wash her mouth out before he kissed her. You would just need to make sure you were behind Spanish Guy when you make the statement.
You could dine out on this story for some time I reckon.

She was actually!  And glanced at LB as I stood.

In round 1 how was the ratio?  Sounds like you had the 2 on 1 in round 2.  Did Spanish dude get 2 on 1 first go around or was the 3rd girl a floater between the two guys first go around?

the spanished dude paid all three girls 800 too since he didn't do them all like you?  man that is one heck of a story! I think this is posted in the wrong section.  tks for sharing this crazy event!

What I really want to know is, did these stories actually happen, or are you just pitching the screenplay for The Hangover Part III, and testing out the audience reaction?

Haha Paladin,

Well, there is no more reason for me to lie on here than there is reason for you believe anything online.  

But YES, everything I have written, about all the gals and adventures I've been thru, is entirely true.  I can only offer my "word", I suppose.  

@sirtiger:  I paid each gal $800HK, and I know Spanish Guy paid up as well - but maybe not the same.  I wasn't  paying attention to him at that moment (Angry Boyfriend had my attention).

wander my fellow Wan Chai brother - we so have to go for a beer one night in Wan Chai!

Something funny happened to a friend & myself at the weekend but I do not want to hijack this legend of a thread, I will PMyou what happened!

"Too much of an action junkie"....

Truer words have rarely been spoken.  

I am fairly sure I am down to 1 or 2 lives left (assuming we do get 9 when we start).  Either that or I have an angel watching out for me to ensure I always make it home...  

But you would be surprised if you met me - I don't look the part:  Clark Kent by day, Charlie Sheen by nite, I suppose.

Charlie Sheen by nite - love it!
You know, people always seem to wonder about these extreme stories but for me at least they are to hard to make up! My session with a chick called Nicole (you can search for the thread if you want) proved that to me last month. I just love hearing about experiences like Wander has had here, balls of steel and kudos to him. I just don't know how you make this shit up!!
Life is indeed stranger than fiction - and I want to party with Wander next time I'm in HK!

Yeah, Halfclover, I read your  story about Nicole (and Karma'ed you on it at the time).  A great and weird moment in life indeed!  

The thing is..., I now have a rather interesting memoir to write - but I can't  till everyone I know is dead!! (Or I  accept the complete stunned shock (and anger) of those who "think" they know me).  

Ah well - I have at least 2 lives left....  Onward!

PS:  Be careful what you wish for - people get in trouble with me cause they think I am Clark Kent - only to realize, when they wake, I was  actually Charlie Sheen!  Haha.  Kidding Bro. (Sorta).

[ Last edited by  wander at 26-5-2011 18:55 ]

Hey Bro,

Yeah, I have a very long time SO.  But she travels too..  My adventures tend to occur when she is away for a few days. So I've "recovered" by the time she returns.

Too risky?  ABSOLUTELY!!!  I don't plan these nites.., they just happen!

Hangover 1 - Las Vegas
Hangover 2 - Bangkok
Hangover 3 - Hong Kong: Wanchai - very logical progression!

Ahh so Hangover III in Wanchai, so where to go for number 4??

I've got it "Hangover IV - Libya" - the boys would have a ball down there. Of course they would need to wear Kevlar t-shirts!!

You know, all this talk of movies made me think - you never see a movie that is sympathetic towards punters.  There are 1000 flicls with the "hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold" but never the "punter-with-a-heart-of-gold".  Every film depicts punters a sleazy lowlifes.  

Something needs to be done to show we are just regular blokes who happen to be horny!

Just off the top of my head, Pretty Woman =D

But Hangover isn't really about regular punters. It is about men gone crazy at the "bachelor party". Right now (in the US), the prostitution is under serious attack because the media has been doing all these human trafficking and under aged prostitution documentary. At the same time, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore advocate "Real Men Don't Buy Girls". They have shut down Craigslist's adult ad section. Backpage is rumored to be the next target. Even some of the review sites are feeling the heat as well.

Unfortunately, they haven't done any documentary on prostitution on WGs that actually enjoy fucking strangers and doing it on their own free will to make extra money or to make end meets.

My point exactly!!!

I have been with hundreds of WGs,  Many hundreds.... A statistically meaningful number.  No doubt much more than the Human-trafficking-nutcases ever interviewed.  I have met 3 girls, in all this time,  who  were truly coerced into it (by debt in all 3 cases).  I helped them....  

I am not saying nasty shit doesn't happen.  It does (especially in Cambodia!) But I WILL say it is EXTREMELY rare.  The vast majority of WGs (worldwide) do it because it pays better then the alternative.  Their sisters and aunts all work in factories or whereever for shit pay,  and they CHOSE for something more...

A great choice between just "getting by" and having a little extra?  No. It sucks..., but don't tell me it is slavery or trafficking.  They DID choose!  And are free to change their minds any hour of any day.  

The media is totally fucked up about it.