My take
Before we all start lacing up our Doc Martens, let's remember that transactions with WGs are always negotiated to some degree. Sex work is a job and seldom a career. But the workers are people and even though we're the clients (we get the invoice, what the hell else would we be?) and deserve respect unless they are so disrespectful that they lose that privilege. Even after that, while we might want nothing more to do with them, they're still people...hope you know where I'm coming from with this, I'm not trying to be philosophical, just presenting observations and opinions.
aurufc, she demonstrated her flakiness by not exactly making a plan with you but expecting you to understand circumstances relevant to HER, not to YOU. This is what I call being self-centered, which she absolutely is. However, you did message to cancel a not-fully-booked appt--good etiquette. I don't know what to make of her response.
Self-centered she is, but I'd not say she suffers from over-entitlement, joey88. I'm not going to go into Lina's situation, that's not appropriate. But her planning is scattershot at best. Yes, obe, there's a pattern.
More disclosure: I've seen this girl...more than a few times. She talks a lot but I enjoy her somewhat twisted view of life. She does not have it easy, and while some of her problems are of her own making, her circumstances are not ideal. Planning: last month I mentioned my phone calendar, she said what's that. I took her phone and showed her the calendar function. Semi-pro is one thing, not planning on a calendar is another--for a freelancer. Despite this, she's been prompt and honest with me, until this week. Flaky, yes, but not flaked-out.
I went to Macau the weekend before, got a hotel room (I have other reasons to go to Macau), she came over and we had a fabulous time. She was grateful I'd come over from HK. So I messaged her and said, how about a daytrip Friday, get a short-time hotel and have fun. It sounded kinda sleazy and fun and I need a break from work, and we're familiar with each other and what we like, so she was enthusiastic. Turns out there was some other guy (NOT a HK-based bro, aurufc) but she didn't tell me about this until I was at this work event because (I'm sorta guessing here, but not far off) she thought this other guy would be at work, then it turned out he wasn't. Self-centered & bad planning.
I sent her some sharp messages, and I think she then tried to clear her sched by lying to the guy she was spending the week with (possibly--guessing again). Later, when I'm going home via MTR, she sends me a message saying "you're coming to Macau, right?" As if she'd talked this guy into some imaginary disappearing trick (pun intended), was gonna rush to the ST hotel, fuck me, then go back to this other clown. I mean, maybe he's a swell fellow but he doesn't live in either Macau or Indonesia so if she wants to empty his wallet, then let me know so I won't buy ferry tickets and clear my sched.
"No." I texted her. "You made your choice." She'd been stringing this guy along all week (I guess) and he wasn't pleased. I think her failed ruse aroused his suspicions. So by trying to arrange things so could get everything she wanted, she ended up with less than she expected. Karma? Perhaps.
She sent me messages later, contrite ones. I spelled out the problem: you're trying to make money, and you have limited time to do so, and people like me are trying to help you (enlightened self-interest, of COURSE--I wouldn't pay her if I wasn't fucking her). Instead of chasing after unicorns, I told her, don't try to manipulate those of us who find your value-proposition attractive. From her tone, I think she got taken down a peg, and if so, GOOD. But she will remain self-centered and flaky, it's her nature.
She's back to Indonesia tomorrow, hopefully with enough $ until she can plan her next trip here, if she does come back to HK or Macau. I've gone on long enough about this, but I thank Petay and everyone else for contributing their stories. We should, as gents, talk to each other when things go wrong in the "floating world" we all enjoy. A good freelancer is a great experience, but with this one, make firm plans. And if she gets wishy-washy, FEEL FREE to say, hey, I'm on the 141 forum and I read that you change schedules and such, I dunno if that's true but that's what other guys say, so if you're not 100% sure you can make this appointment, let me know NOW as my time is valuable and I can't afford to wait on you.
That's my suggestions/observations, and thanks again for listening to my tale. Bottom line: had a great time Friday, didn't have to go to Macau in the cold, saved some $$. 
JtB
[ Last edited by JackTheBat at 16-12-2017 18:33 ] | |
