Reply #9 pijyske's post
If you're living with someone who can't accept reality, the first thing you have to do is ringfence your reality from theirs, and that basically means
time, and
money
It's vitally essential for you to separate your finances, at least, enough for you to do what you need to do.
Since - for you - that means undoing past decisions, you're right not to change it all overnight. Best to build up gradually finding incremental opportunities to gain more freedom and control.
If you introduce changes stepwise, bit by bit, you have a good chance of moving to a more comfortable arrangement without ever having to face a blowup.
End of the day, you have to be very clear what is your priority: if your priority is to maintain your marriage, and make it a happy one (for both of you), you do also have to look after yourself at the same time. Building a track-record for being just a little bit unavailable, a little bit unpredictable, a little bit absent-minded about when you show up and what you share about your day, is best done gradually over a period of months. | |
